Updated: Apr 23
What if I told you that Valentine's Day isn't just for couples?
For years, I thought that if I was not in a relationship, I could not enjoy the national holiday of love. But, I was wrong! You can enjoy Valentine's Day while single even without a ton of friends. Here's how to do it.
There are generally four different love types
Eros: This type of love is the most popular type of love celebrated on Valentine's Day. Eros love is the sexual and romantic love that the Bible discusses. It is often reserved for marriage because of its spiritual implications. In my book, Since When Did Single Mean Sad, I did an in-depth discussion about how each love type plays a part in your dating life. If you do not have Eros Love, do not fear! There are three other types of love that you can foster in your life.
Storge: Storge love is one of the essential love types because it is the one that you will have until you die, hopefully. Storge love is the love that you have for the family. The love between a mother and a child is often a fantastic example of love. When you think about Storge love, it can also be helpful to know that family is not just the people you grow up with. Family is anyone who is there for you for the long haul. You can always count on these people for both advice and trust them.
Philia: This is the most uncomplicated love to celebrate on Valentine's Day. In the Bible, Philia love was the love between friends. So, for example, the love between Jesus and the 12 disciples. Philia love is scientifically proven to decrease stress hormones and lower depression and anxiety. When I was in counseling, I found out that isolation and not having friends were the biggest triggers for my anxiety.
Agape: Agape love is the most selfless love. Agape love is the type of love that God has for all of humanity, and it is lavishly given, not based on worth or paying people back, and is immeasurable. John 3:16 gives the best example of love. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. That whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life." The best indicator of Agape love is whether or not you can love this person without being repaid.
Now that you know this, How can you use it to Celebrate Valentine's Day?
Now that you know the love types, here are some activities that you can do for Valentine's Day.
1. Buy yourself flowers- I have done this every day for the past two years, and it makes me feel so happy. You don't need a significant other to buy you flowers and once you realize this, you are ahead of the single population. One of my favorite Valentine's Days was when I bought myself a bunch of red tulips. However, other options include sunflowers, roses, and orchids.
2. Get your nails and toes done: Who says you have to have a partner to have nice-looking feet and hands? Looking and feeling your absolute best doesn't have to be done for anyone else.
3. Do nothing for a whole day- When was the last time that you did nothing for an entire day? Being on your phone does not count! If you can't answer- then get to it. Some ideas that you can do to keep yourself preoccupied on your do-nothing day include going on a hike or a walk, watching television, picking up a new hobby, and listening to a podcast! A great place to start is by asking yourself what you used to do before you had a phone. Then, going and doing that thing.
4. Decorate your space: Valentine's day is traditionally for those people who love pinks and reds. But what if I told you that you could incorporate color into your life and boost your mood? Blue, green, pink, and white are all colors that can boost your mood (and the obvious ones such as yellow and bright pink or red). My point here is that you don't necessarily need to go all out with reds and pinks to celebrate the love holiday.
5. Cuddle up with a good book about love: My premiere novel, "Since When Did Single Mean Sad," includes much of the information you need to know about how to be single and happy (finally). Here is the link to get ALL of the information about purchasing it. Books about love and attraction are an excellent way to open your mind and arms to accepting love.
6. Take a luxurious bath: One popular thing that couples will do for each other is run petal baths and light candles. Your skin needs pampering too! So taking a warm bath can emit those feelings of comfort that you don't have in your relationship. To find ideas about making this, you can check out my Pinterest board.
7. Write about what you want in a relationship: One of my favorite chapters in Since When did single mean sad is the list building your future spouse. So often, people make lists of superficial things that they want in a partner. However, these charts rarely encompass what they desire in a spouse. To make this more realistic, I have placed a chart from "Since When Did Single Mean Sad?" below.
What do you think of this chart? Drop a comment down below!
1. Have dinner with your family: According to a family therapist, Anne Fishel, only about 30 percent of families eat dinner together even though it is hugely beneficial. How do you usually eat dinner? And is your family included? Then, maybe a lovely Valentine's dinner can be a great time to celebrate.
2. Give your family gifts: Who said that Christmas is the only time that you can gift your family with things? I remember that for years my mom would give us chocolate on Valentine's day, and it was always so fun to eat it, knowing that we usually would not get candy. A fun and unique game to play would be Valentine's Day White Elephant.
3. Spend time with a lonely family member: You are not the only single person who spends Valentine's day alone. Do you have a grandma or grandpa who does not have a lot of family support? They would probably be so honored if you spent even an hour with them. Time is so precious, and when you volunteer your time, you give a part of yourself. The memories that you get from this experience will last you a lifetime.
4. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or older folk's home: You would have to adhere to the rules during this time due to the virus. But I know that many of these places still need help on holidays. Your support will be very appreciated.
5. Visit the grave of a deceased person: The last thing you might think about on Valentine's Day is giving flowers to someone else. But Valentine's day is a great way to visit the grave of a member and refresh their flowers. You can also write a letter to them.
1. Have a Galantine's Day party: I have always wanted a Galantine's day party. During this time, Pinterest has tons of pictures of great ideas. You can do anything from having a sleepover to dressing up and going out.
2. Go to a church event: Sometimes churches know that people do not have anywhere to go for valentines day, so that they will host certain events for youth. You can often go and have a great time!
3. Host a friend game night: I always have the best time whenever we do game nights. Play games such as Uno or Scrabble, and have pink or red foods. Having a game night is a great way to pass the time.
4. Go to a concert or performance: Many people do not consider going to a show for Valentine's day. However, some places will have classical music performances, ballets, and more.
5. See a movie!: Couples often frequent the movies as an excellent place for Valentine's day.
6. Have a Netflix Marathon: Some great shows include You, All American, Throwbacks such as Friends and Moesha and Sister Sister, and Gilmore Girls.
1. Spend time with God: God is the one who crafted all of these relationships. Therefore, the perfect way to spend time on Valentine's Day is to study his word, listen to praise and worship music, and thank him for his love.
How to NOT celebrate Valentines Day while single
While there are many things to do while single on Valentine's Day, there are some obvious things that you should not do for the sake of your sanity and peace.
Have s*x with a random person: The Bible talks about how sex is for the marriage bed (1 Corinthians 6:18—20). So valentines day is not a good time to find someone random to sleep with. These one-night stands will not bring you fulfillment, and if you are not safe, you could end up with a host of STDs or even become pregnant.
Mope around feeling sorry for yourself: One of my tips of things you can do when Single on Valentine's Day is to do nothing. However, don't do it if you know that doing nothing will cause you to lay down and be depressed. I was most depressed when I allowed myself to get into my feelings about situations. If you start to mope about your feelings, acknowledge them, write them down, and then get up and do something. You can even go on a solo date. Check out my post here for solo date ideas!
Get doped up on drugs and or break the law: No day is worth lifetime consequences
Go back to your ex: There are very few situations where going back to your ex is beneficial. In my book, Since When did Single Mean sad, I had a journal prompt about indicators that it is okay to go back to them. However, these reasons are few and far between and require much thought. Make sure you think twice before sending that text.
Anything that would not glorify God: God gave us discernment, and we often KNOW that there are some things that we should not do. But we do them anyway and end up regretting it. If you have to question whether or not something would glorify God, then there is a chance that it will not. It's never too late to turn away from sin!
Comment below: What do you plan on doing for Valentine's day?
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